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NoxiousButNice
Arty
Artist | Student | Digital Art
Collaborations - Ask Me by SweetDuke Commissions - Open by SweetDuke

Questions questions questions. Why always questions?

Yes, I am making pie.

Yes, it is 5:30am and the sun has not risen yet.

Yes, this an absurd hour to make pie.

Yes, I do have an obsession with pie. Deal with it.

No, you may not have pie. This is an absurd hour to eat pie, and more importantly, make your own damn pie.

No, stop stealing my pie. Nu. STAHP. MAH PIE.

Art Jealousy and Failure

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 5, 2014, 10:58 PM

Due to excessive amounts of both jealousy and self-loathing I constantly feel like art is utter bullshit.

I've been in art schools for so many years and I have made a lot of friends in the industry, many of those friends were not overly talented or skillful, in my mind, but they were ambitious and seemly blind to any negative criticism. As much as I adored these people, I hated their guts, after graduating they are employed, having art exhibitions and travelling around the world.

Meanwhile I am sitting in my bedroom, in my parent’s house, twenty two and unemployed.

I sit here stewing over the fact that I am not making any progress at all, none, I can’t bring myself to draw anything because I know what I produce will not be at my full potential, it won’t be good enough by my own standards.

I was one of those people during school that didn't have to try, my ability far outweighed my peers and those people I had once looked down upon, those people whose art I always thought was ‘crappy’ is now selling for hundreds of dollars, meanwhile I fill out form after form to try and claim unemployment payments.

I’m a more than a little bitter about it because they have two things I never had, the drive to continue and charisma.

For all my talent I haven’t done anything with it, I've let my negative attitude drag me down.

Through my own failure as an artist I hope to inspire those who are just starting out, don’t compare yourself to other artists, it doesn't matter if you think their work is better than yours, or if they are younger than you and producing ‘better’ stuff.

Just keep going, keep creating, and do something artistic every day because you will succeed sooner or later.

I tell you this not as someone who has done it but as someone who has been left behind because everyone else around me did it and I was too caught up being negative to notice.

If you don't feed the spark, you lose the flame altogether.



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:icontwistedtwilighter:
TwistedTwilighter Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Hello, this is your fellow member over at :iconcirque-des-monstres:!

We're hosting a summer contest, and we would really like for you to be a part of it! We have a couple of prizes to give out to the winners too! I hope that you might be able to participate, because this contest allows us more interactions with other members of our group, and we want to make sure that no one is left out! I know we're small, but this gives us a chance to expand our gallery and spread the word so our group can grow. If you do want to be a part of the contest, just check out our current journal for information. If you don't want to or aren't able to, I understand.

Thanks for your time and consideration. I hope that you will still enjoy your time at Cirque des Monstres nonetheless~

:iconbaibaiplz:
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:iconkelacaolican:
Kelacaolican Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
Post script, I adore your webcam. Hellsing fan, huh?
Reply
:iconnoxiousbutnice:
NoxiousButNice Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Indeed I am, and I am very impressed you recognized it.
Reply
:iconkelacaolican:
Kelacaolican Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
I've seen the first OVA sixteen times. I could recognize it anywhere.
Reply
:iconnoxiousbutnice:
NoxiousButNice Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I commend your dedication when it comes to watching it, Hellsing Ultimate is by far the greatest thing to grace this Earth.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsierra-116:
SIERRA-116 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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:iconnoxiousbutnice:
NoxiousButNice Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thanks so much!
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:iconsierra-116:
SIERRA-116 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
No problems.
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:iconsierra-116:
SIERRA-116 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013
Did you get the note I sent you about my character?
Reply
:iconnoxiousbutnice:
NoxiousButNice Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I did, I have been working on it, been a bit busy lately as it is my birthday this weekend and I have been hastily planning my party.
I should have it done in the next few days.
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