DefeatHe sat there by the water’s edge, it lapped gently at his bare feet as he stared down at his own reflection, mirrored in the dark, still depths. The taste of blood still lingered in his mouth, he had been fed well tonight, and like every night that he was well fed he ended up with a headache, a sharp stinging that he tried so hard to hide from his Master but to no avail, he was nearly always discovered and it caused his Sire to worry. As uncaring as his Sire tried to appear he could always tell when he was fretting about something, this creature was not as dumb as he seemed and caught on rather quickly, though for the sake of those around him he tried his best to feign innocence.Defeat by NoxiousButNice
“I can feel you there.”
He muttered softly as he stared down into his own dark eyes, something in what he saw there wasn’t quite right. Others had noticed it to, ever since they moved to this coven he had caught some of the older members staring at him, as if perplexed about his existen
Questions questions questions. Why always questions?
Yes, I am making pie.
Yes, it is 5:30am and the sun has not risen yet.
Yes, this an absurd hour to make pie.
Yes, I do have an obsession with pie. Deal with it.
No, you may not have pie. This is an absurd hour to eat pie, and more importantly, make your own damn pie.
No, stop stealing my pie. Nu. STAHP. MAH PIE.
Due to excessive amounts of both jealousy and self-loathing I constantly feel like art is utter bullshit.
I've been in art schools for so many years and I have made a lot of friends in the industry, many of those friends were not overly talented or skillful, in my mind, but they were ambitious and seemly blind to any negative criticism. As much as I adored these people, I hated their guts, after graduating they are employed, having art exhibitions and travelling around the world.
Meanwhile I am sitting in my bedroom, in my parent’s house, twenty two and unemployed.
I sit here stewing over the fact that I am not making any progress at all, none, I can’t bring myself to draw anything because I know what I produce will not be at my full potential, it won’t be good enough by my own standards.
I was one of those people during school that didn't have to try, my ability far outweighed my peers and those people I had once looked down upon, those people whose art I always thought was ‘crappy’ is now selling for hundreds of dollars, meanwhile I fill out form after form to try and claim unemployment payments.
I’m a more than a little bitter about it because they have two things I never had, the drive to continue and charisma.
For all my talent I haven’t done anything with it, I've let my negative attitude drag me down.
Through my own failure as an artist I hope to inspire those who are just starting out, don’t compare yourself to other artists, it doesn't matter if you think their work is better than yours, or if they are younger than you and producing ‘better’ stuff.
Just keep going, keep creating, and do something artistic every day because you will succeed sooner or later.
I tell you this not as someone who has done it but as someone who has been left behind because everyone else around me did it and I was too caught up being negative to notice.
If you don't feed the spark, you lose the flame altogether.